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She was also raised in the Baptist church and had taken a vow of abstinence. Just because I have a Bible on my nightstand and condoms in the drawer doesn’t mean I love God any less or that He doesn’t love me.” Many Christian youths who signed abstinence pledges or wore purity rings reach a crossroad as young adults.“I was curious,” says Jordan, now 34, a graphic designer in Columbus, Ohio. They are faced with upholding Biblical principles against sex outside of marriage during an era when the average age of first marriage creeps toward 30.

People say, ‘Don’t make sex such a big deal,’ but for a lot of people, it’s a deal breaker.” “The Bible is clear that you should not have sex outside of marriage, but that is not the reality of what’s going on,” says Sophia Nelson, award-winning author of Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama (Ben Bella Books). Census data showing that nearly 40 percent of Black women do not marry until age 35 and more than 45 percent of African-Americans older than 14 have never been married, Black Christians face a long road of chastity.Currently in a relationship and celibate, she says Christians should not avoid intimacy for fear of breaking their vow of abstinence with God.“A lot of people take a hard-line position and won’t even allow themselves to be touched,” she says.Single father John Fitzgerald, 29, acknowledges the difficulty in putting faith before flesh and has even ended relationships because of the woman’s decision to remain abstinent.“Yes, it’s wrong, [but] I’m still doing it,” he says.

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