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Posted by / 10-Dec-2019 14:00

They come in every color under the sun and I would gauge their median level of hotness as being above that of the Dominican Republic. At least, all the Cuban girls I encountered were whores, and trust me when I say this. Without question, almost every one of them will ask for money, and if they don’t, you are very lucky or you have convinced them that they will get more money later and it’s in their interests to wait (I never did the latter as I feel it’s unethical, yeah me with ethics go figure) Before I go on about the nature of Cuban girls, I should give an explanation about the situation I found myself in.They are sensual, affectionate, dress well (as well as they can), have style. Before going to Cuba I reached out to RVF member Lavidaloca. What most Americans do when they go there is fly to Cancun, and then on from Cancun to Havana.Not so in Cuba, many of them are so starved for information from the outside, they just want to know where you are from. You will always see people carrying beautifully decorated cakes on a cardboard box in the street. These people keep shit running somehow and they have good work ethics. FYI, sometimes the Paladors where in well hidden places and you’d never know they were there unless someone showed you. Cuban men have aggressive body language and hang out in groups. You have to do something really messed up for them to hassle you.You will see many Cubans wearing shirts with names of distant places. Not at all like Dominicans taking forever to look up from their phones. 20Nation was giving us all sorts of warnings about being snatched off the street and harassed by them but it turned out to be completely untrue. I got a few decent workouts in including one in a gym with cement weights and dirt floors. Cuba Libres, Mojito’s and Casicque beer is delicious. If you go to Cuba, do it for the cultural experience.Kind of what a Casa Paticular is to a Hotel, a Palador is to an expensive restaurant) 8. Castro declared that raising cattle in Cuba wasn’t a good idea, so any cattle are off limits. Pork, Chicken, Fish, etc are in abundance, but no beef. This was fun for a few days, but I was so sick of doing this routine that I usually ended up just staying in the nightmare room and listening to the Michelle Thomas method for Spanish 10. You can get an ETECSA card for between 6-10 USD (or Cu C) that will let you get online for an hour. At these fake Paladors, you would be paying between 20 – 25 USD. Cubans are helpful and don’t mind stopping whatever they are doing to be of assistance.

We waited for a taxi for another excruciating amount of time. Don’t show up unless you have a decent level of Spanish.I had to take a piss so bad my back teeth were floating. Most of the people there don’t have functional English.When we finally got a guy, we had to share with two other backpacker dipshits from Canada. Please shut the fuck up so I can concentrate on not pissing myself every time we go over a bump. My only comment is that there was a life size Porcelain Boxer (the dog) that was really cool in the entryway. All the advice, everything I was told from both my friend and Lavidaloca was not to stay in this area. I wasn’t happy about it but there wasn’t much I could do. Moving on….) And this is why I say all Cuban girls are whores. There’s no wiring money in, there’s no paypal, nothing. I had to rely on THC for money and he was near the end of his own money. A few do here and there but when you really want to get something hard to find, if you don’t have functional Spanish, you are functionally fucked. These chicks often know zero English, it would have been a lot smoother for me if my Spanish was better. They want so badly to connect with you, that they will say anything.These guys were dressed like they were going mountaineering and one of them was trying to regal the car with one of his “interesting” travel stories. Is carrying a bag you have to take everything out of every time you need something and then repack it better than a suitcase with wheels? Do you think I give a flying fuck about your hasty ride in a shitty pickup to the airport in whereverthefuck India? By now you can figure out that the 1st place we go to didn’t have rooms, and even though we were literally blocks from where these two back packing idiots were staying, we had to pay as if it was just the two of us and could not share the fair (the only thing I figured these guys were good for). It was sort of like staying in the Twilight Zone, only with worse dreams. There were two rooms and even though I had no money, I was of course stuck paying double what the other room cost. I have no idea how that thing was so intact and unscathed. (Over the next 6 weeks I found myself beyond frustrated as I was saying over and over “yeah, this is what I said would happen, you guys don’t listen”. We were in the part of town where most tourists end up, and girls walking with guys just normally will be pimped out by there brothers if they see you looking at her. It’s actually one of the reasons I ended my Central America tour. The Cuban men are worse than the Cuban girls because they don’t have sex appeal to try and speak with you.Why backpackers all fit this ridiculous cliche will never cease to annoy me. It’s a pay for sex culture, even the Cuban guys are Cuban girls. We only went one place that was on Lavidaloca’s list and even there it was girls openly wanting money for sex. I want to return when I have better Spanish and don’t have to rely on anyone for help when I get stuck. Money permitting, I was resigned to doing what my travel companions wanted, which made things very limited. So this regret is tied to the first but these are places I wish I had gone. I had numerous people see my cauliflower ear and tell me they were a national champion in Lucha Libre (freestyle wrestling) or Greco Romano (Greco Roman Wrestling).

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In addition to Lavidaloca’s advice, I contacted an American friend of mine who has been to Cuba multiple times and told me all sorts of cool activities to do like going Marlin fishing, scuba diving, etc. I had budgeted 100 dollars a day (16 days) plus I figured I might need some backup (400) and I was planning to bring $2000 with me. When asking which carousel our bags would arrive on, we were told “Look at that carousel, and if they are not there, check the other ones”. We didn’t know where we were going in the city yet because, even though I asked THC several times to look through the online listings of Casa particulars (he speaks/reads Spanish and while I tried to read about the place, I just couldn’t do it), He never did and I gave up trying to get him to do it.

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