Polyamorous dating tips
), I’ve assembled a list of advice, adapted from these lists of advice for dating single parents.(Warning: Although I’ve tried to make this advice general, I have a primary relationship and a young child, and my list may be biased toward that experience.) 1.Lego Family by The Great 8 is licensed under CC BY 2.0. w=240" data-large-file="https://polymomma.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/5624774486_9c577580eb_m.jpg? Polyamory is still an exciting new thing, and often it is misunderstood, or even scary to new people. When you think about it, dating a poly person is a lot like dating a single parent." data-medium-file="https://polymomma.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/5624774486_9c577580eb_m.jpg? Not everybody is up for the responsibility of dating a single parent, and similarly there are challenges when dating a poly person.There’s a lot of communication that must exist between people in a polyamorous relationship.All parties have to be aware of a new person’s invitation into the mix, and they’re still hurt when someone cheats.In other relationships, you may have been able to gauge a person’s feelings for you by how much time and energy they put into your relationship.When you’re dating a poly person, this isn’t necessarily the case. Be the kind of partner who can listen to the things they’re going through without trying to “solve” things.
With more people coming to terms with what polyamory is, they are realizing that polyamory may be exactly what they need in their lives. For those of you who have been lost thus far, unaware of what exactly polyamory is, I’ll break it down for you really quickly.
Is there anything you could do to help things along?
Showing your partner that you care about their other relationships is a great way to build trust.
This doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, nor do you have to date them (unless that’s specifically what has been arranged), but it’s best if you can, at the very least, sit down to dinner with them (or better yet, play Scrabble with them! If they insist you stay completely separate from their other partner, that is a huge red flag, as it really limits the relationship you can have with your partner. Often, the attention, time and resources that a poly person devotes to their other partners can make one feel jealous or resentful.
Make sure you know what their boundaries are, and really ask yourself whether those boundaries are fair for you. Are you self-assured and independent enough to accept that their other partners will need time and attention too?
And at any time, if you feel your good nature is being taken for granted or taken advantage of, it’s ok to express your feelings about this, and if your feelings are dismissed or ignored, it is reasonable to walk away. More Than Two has a great article going into greater depth on the topic of the ‘Primary/Secondary’ dynamic, including the Secondary’s Bill of Rights. Their current partner(s) may eve be leery of letting someone new into their lives. Sure, it may be that you miss out on your new poly sweetie, but think of how many other monogamous fish there are in that sea!