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But separated.”I have said these words out loud on about a half-dozen dates in the last few months and, on other occasions, I haven’t said them at all—opting instead to say them internally over casual drinks with a potential love interest.
I like to think that if I’ve said them in my head with the of injecting them into the conversation, it gets me off the hook somehow.
” It's complicated, even though we don't have any children or shared assets.
While no one gets divorced overnight (as if it just magically happens when you realize you never want to see that person again), in our case it’s taking longer than it should.
” When I tell them it’s been over a year now, the next question is always, “So how come you’re not divorced yet?This doesn’t usually go over very well: Not only do very few men, in my experience, seem to want to date a woman who’s still legally married to another man and could be for a long time, but very few men want to date a woman who would have gotten herself caught up in such a predicament in the first place.“You seem like a very intelligent woman,” one date said to me back in July.“So I’m really confused as to how you could have not just dated, but married someone who is such a —” But he stopped himself there.Once you’ve fallen in the eyes of the judge, it will be very difficult to get back up.The judge will pay attention to your ability to keep your promises, be honest with your spouse, follow agreements you’ve made with your spouse, and follow orders of the court.
Everything you do and say in court, and out of court, will affect how the judge chooses to use his discretion, and much of divorce law allows the judge a lot of room to use his judgment when dividing the assets or setting alimony.