Dating a loner boyfriend
I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.
It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.
They have an assembly line of lovers waiting patiently for their names to be called. Serial daters swing from prong to prong, pleasing as they go and leaving at their own will.
Being single means falling off of the monkey bars and landing face-first on the ground, bewildered and confused. Is it the clichéd lack of self-esteem or plain old boredom? Quite often, when people feel the need to be in a relationship, they're insecure and need the ongoing confidence boost from a significant other.
They need someone better; they need something new and if you aren't giving them the thrill they want, don't get too attached.
You're probably just a photo for the next page as they flip through the honeymoon album of their lives. They hate the thought of being alone and they hate not having someone eagerly waiting by the phone to answer every text. Because they constantly have people lined up to date them.
But, if you don’t want to succumb to the harsh reality that you’re just another notch on the belt, acknowledge these important reasons why you should steer clear of the serial daters: Ah, the honeymoon phase: It's arguably the best stage of a relationship.
Because, as introverts, we often derive our energy from solitude and quiet contemplation in which to process life’s events, we have only so much social goodwill to go around. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me.In fact, any form of socializing has the potential to deplete these stores. You get to meet complete strangers (not always our strongest suit), who will then subject you to a barrage of intensely personal questions and judge you! There is good news too, but let’s get the bad news out of the way first. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket. You should never feel bad for treating them as such, and don’t let anyone tell you different. You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses.Dating, fraught with the anxiety and possibility of rejection and/or romance, even more so. Doesn’t that sound like the ideal situation when you’re looking for true intimacy and affection? The discussion of introversion has only recently become part of the larger cultural dialogue.If you’re able to handle the “one and done” lifestyle of a serial dater, by all means, date away.Maybe you’re a serial dater yourself and maybe you live for the constant flow of new sexual potentials strolling nonchalantly in and out of your life.